trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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