I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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