Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
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