whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
