With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
