Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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