I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
