So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
