I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Randomize
