we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
