whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
