I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
