So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
