He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
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