Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize