I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
