so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
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