Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize