Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I need a hoe opinion
go on
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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