The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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