when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
