they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
