I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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