I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
where are my eyebrows?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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