something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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