I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
