there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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