If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
