there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Randomize
