but the lizard people decide everything anyway
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
