And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
