Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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