he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize