the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
