At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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