Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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