dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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