discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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