I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
