Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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