I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
