Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
