we have officially lost it.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize