My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize