He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I fill condoms, not promises.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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