You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
