i just google imaged poop.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
