you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
