Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
