Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
