I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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