I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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