I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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