Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
