I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
