All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
